• This post will constitute the greatness that is Walmart fun.  It is what happens when you're not in a rush, don't want to bring WMD with you,  and don't focus on the ungodly alienesque (redudant) characters that roam the stores frightening the cohabitation of the average citizen, making us ponder the unanswered question...why are we here?

• Times are tough.  The economy is bringing people together at Walmart.  For the most part, you can spot a person who doesn't belong in there and you identify their economical and life status.  Nicely groomed man: Wife left him, took everything. A well dressed career woman pushes around a cart, puzzled and flustered: Husband is in debt.  High-end snob model: she's lost or is too blonde to know she's making all the rednecks drop their canned goods on their crusty toes.

• It will expound upon some tips on nutritional food, insights, Walmart sight-seeing, money saving tactics and tid-bits I've picked up along the way.

• It will be laid out in bullet point format for the mom-in-a-hurry, the business woman, or those with  Internet ADHD Syndrome (the ones who click on all external links, and find themselves reading about Tanzania's President by the time their done), or people like me: the coherently fractured mind (paradoxical).

• Money saving tips - Produce: buy at corner vegetable and fruit stands.  No bagging, no stock boy, no corn wax. For Asian, Jamaican, Latin, and world recipes..find a local ethnic store.  Everything will be ridiculously cheaper there.

1. Curries


2. Corn Masa


3. Rice and Beans


4. Herbs and Spices


5. Coconut Milk


6. Noodles


7. Sauces


8. Weird plants


9. Oxtail Seasoning.. Wait. What? (Emphasis on the WH)

There is no doubt why some whities think the spanish are a bit from the another world.



No croutons. I've got just the thing!

Truth is, in the Spanish section, I found pumpkin seeds perfect for snacks and granola, which I paid a Starbuck's coffee's worth more for it at a natural health food store (even though I'm not supposed to drink coffee).  Anyway, these are not highly processed.  Get your anti-inflammatory curry powder here!  It's not just for people with disease: people with allergies, people who work out.  Get your banana leaves here...haha..

• Funny... that the Wal-Mart I patronized did not list it as the Ethnic Foods Isle.  They labeled it Latin Foods.

The other cultures look tame next to these guys.

• Not funny... that ironically I had become the Wal-Mart weirdo because I was taking pictures of cow tongues in jars.  I'm not kidding.  Even the spics were looking at me like I spit on the Virgin Mary.  Oh, don't worry.  I didn't mean spic as derogatory, because I am one.  Kind of like how only a certain group can use the "n" word amongst themselves.  Just jokes my friends, just jokes.  Send hate mail or counsel to :bunnybutt83@yahoo.com

• You must still read the labels.  Just because some countries are poor does not mean their corporations are beyond adding a lot of cheap foreign material to it.  I mean, look at our broke America.  They put silicone in my food! Some Oriental and Spanish food shamelessly add Mono Sodium Glutamate to their food.  Almost anything that ends in -mine does not belong in your plate.  My Cholas: please look carefully if you buy ADOBO seasoning.  The spanish version contains MSG.  The randomly enlightened North American version does not.  Some just sell MSG for a good brain rush.

• A special side note:  The picture quality is to blame on my chronologically irrelevant phone in this rapidly evolving tech timeline we live in.  As a matter of fact, while I took the above picture, I lost the R key plate (that also doubles as the number 3 button).  No longer can I text you that, "I'm angry, Grrrr!".  No, I'm just G.  Matching iPhones are in the works for Husband and me, but I fear divorce in the near future if we upgrade to such man-grabbing smartphones.  I would have to make an ElenAPP to get his attention.

• Some popular organic brands are available in your Wal-Mart.  If you scan the rows long enough will magically appear in the back, hiding behind the pickles and the Twinkies.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="240" caption="And you thought the epitome of greatness was Peanut Butter. Bout time you experimented!"][/caption]

• Please do yourself a favor and buy Gluten Free, Organic, and Environmentally Friendly Peanut Butter Panda Puffs!  They carry it at many Wal-Mart!  (Not in hick town though).  You don't have to have Celiac's Disease to want to stuff these down your pants. Try with vanilla soymilk. If you just don't care, get Reese's Peanut Butter cereal cause they are good, said the girl with the hives.

• Here's some common sense for all housewifes and home keepers, not rookies like me. Pragmatically speaking, not nutritionally, do buy the large strawberries so you don't have to keep going back.  Don't stock up on bulk broccoli just because you need to eat better.  Eating healthy food happens in baby steps for us Oreo-is-a-food-group eaters.  It is better you overdose on strawberries than spend your monies on a ton of greens that are just gonna get up on their stalks and walk away.

• If you want your kids, I mean er, Husband to eat better...you're gonnaa have to do some prep work.  Chop them fruits up pretty, try to put them in a prettier bowl that the tupperware below, and pin some fiery sparklers on top of them.  Handing them an apple is just laughable.  Slice it, dice it, eat a piece, garnish them and serve.  Arrange their cauliflower into little trees and take off the crust every once in a while on the sprouted whole grain bread.  Tell them there is sugar added in the berries.

• This is what a fruit massacre looks like. "It was a run-by fruiting!" Bet you don't know what I'm quoting?  Husband and I bonded on that quote long ago!  A million points if you know it:

• I know this is obvious, but buy seasonally!  Try the things you were always afraid to try and do it while they're dirt cheap.  Tis the season for papaya, kiwi, and watermelons.  I know this because it was on display, not because I subscribe to Southern Living.  In the days of yore (not sure when yore is), people would eat what was available in the area and nearby trade.  They didn't have mass exports of kiwi in the dead of winter.  It makes sense that tropical people eat mangoes in the Caribbean to cool off, not in New England.  This is TRUE organic eating.  However, since we're a spoiled peoples, let's have our papaya and eat it too.  It makes your skin glow by the next day, great anti-inflammatory, protein breaker-upper, and you'll poop like a duck. Eat. Boom! Poop.

Yes guessed it!  You must scoop out the seeds, possibly peel the skin, and dismember it into cubes to remove any semblance that it was once a papaya if you wants your family to go near it.  They don't do fruit roll-ups with this many vitamins and fiber.

• And if you don't have that much fun in Wal-Mart after looking for little treasures and tricks, then stop by  Sweetbay's Ethnic section.  guaranteed fun.  I spy with my eye:

In the English section. Love how it says sponge pudding.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go slurp on some cactus mucus....Bye.

Love,The Housewifee

Before I proceed to the recipe and methodology of how I prepare 3 fixings in less than 10 minutes, for the woman who wears short skirts and long jackets (sweatpants and a ponytail is okay too), I have a personal news update to relate.  It will not affect your recipe, only mine.  And I'll be damned that I still haven't bought that sponge bat that should be a prized possession in my home.

(If you wish, scroll straight to the food!)

Just now, I had some of the world renowned personal favorite in my house hold, Lentils A la Housewife.  They are one of husbands favorite quickies (also an excuse to assist in meat reduction from his diet.  He eats healthy but it could always use some help).  I've noticed this every time, although subtle:  The back of my head swells.  My heart races. My hands and feet turn red and puffy.  I want to cry or scream.  Preferably scream, but before I get labeled schizophrenic in public, I stick to imperceptible sobbing or mild ranting of anything and everything.  I've been delaying the inevitable...looking up the poorly labeled spice ingredients on my Badia spice tube.

I'm know sensitive to brown rice, one of the few things freely on my you-won't-die list and which I love.  I'm not sensitive to lentils.  So why do I feel pain in my clavicle and ears???  I've learned to shun the potatoes, I'm really okay that I can't eat eggplant, the Tabasco has been a hit to my soul, but curry? I can't have curry??? Nooooooooooo!

This was my elven little kitchen helper, my buddy, my best friend with benefits, my go-to spice!  And of course it seemed obvious if it tastes to good, something must definitely be wrong.  But Denial is not a river in Egypt.  I knew what I had to do. Checking online, my suspicions were evinced: the hidden little menace is red pepper.  This. Changes. Everything.

Ok, now that I got the drama aside, it doesn't change much which cannot be fixed with about $6-$8.  If you can't have nightshade vegetables -red pepper or paprika for this argument- for the health of your joints, neuro-health, or muscle pain, it's time to learn to make your own curry.  I would prepare the spices myself with a spice grinder if I didn't prefer to budget my next gadget for a Tofu Xpress.  But all it requires is a blend of the following spices:

• cumin


• cardamom


• coriander


• turmeric


• dry mustard


• ground ginger


• garlic powder

Leave out if nightshade veggie sensitive:

• paprika or cayenne powder (if you're blessed enough, or just normal)

Curry is versatile and subject to style and culture; open to an endless variety of combinations.  The Badia one I currently own, delicious, costs about a dollar at any ol' grocery store.  Theirs includes fennel, and all spice, which I will be testing with those as well in my new Housewife Curry.  Just mix in one container and sprinkle!  Here is the basic recipe I found it from, though there are many others.

Now, we can move on to my easy-as-cake, but less-icing quickie meals.  This is a modified version of one my momma used to make.  Specifically the lentils she made contained beef and tomato sauce.  Well, I don't like masticating dead cows (personal issue) and tomato sauce is sadly out of the question.  She also used those chicken cubes for seasoning, but I don't want any animals in this food.  It tastes just as good, if not better.  That's not a challenge to my mother, she's still the best.  Now I know many might see this recipe as very easy, but I am not Wolfgang Puck and don't claim to be awesome in the kitch.  My Husband is my biggest fan, but we both know that I'm still a novice and the disclaimer is on the front of this blog, learning to be a newlywed.  I intend to be as chunky and buttery as Paula Dean some day, but until then, a poor, tired woman's meal will do.

Basically, I get home from work, aching, breaking, but most importantly, ravenous. On a health day, I would take out some onions and garlic, but even chopping can be an exhausting task for my hands and joints.  Standing too long makes just about everything hurt, but life doesn't end at 5pm.  I must eat and feed the ones I love.  If he's lucky, he gets clean underwear too. Laughing. Out. Loud.

Items needed: A rice cooker, pressure cooker, and medium pot at least 5 quarts).  See the rest below.

1) Take out all the spices. And Olive Oil.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="350" caption="        Onion powder, Garlic powder,  Bay Leaves, Cumin,            Dill Weed, Curry (homemade from now on for me)"][/caption]

Also , basic salt and pepper. For toppings you will need either Greek plain yogurt, Sour Cream, or Feta Cheese crumbles.

2) Gather all subject foods:









(Sorry about picture placement, still haven't gotten to that part in my HTML book.)

Note: Whole foods all the way.  Less chemicals, toxins, cleaner, and more nourishment.  There are variations of course.  If Husband is in town, we get jasmin rice which is still whole and pure, just hulled.  Make sure they haven't added salts, oils, or preservatives.  You do that on your own.  For the extremely sensitive gluten free watchers, be careful about the warnings.  A trace of wheat will not do much to me, but worth a caution. Last but not least, if you struggle getting your brown rice to come out soft and fluffly, buy organic.  big different in softness.

3) Rinse all in respective cooking containers. Refill with water (according to likeness or package label):

• Rice in rice cooker (Must have!) (For brown rice 2 cups of water per 1 of rice)


• Lentils in pot (Should already.) (About 6 or 7 cups of water)


• Black beans in pressure cooker.  (If you don't have a pressure cooker, cook in much larger pot and make sure you soaked them overnight. Follow package instructions because I'm doing the pressure cooker method here.) (7 or 8 of water)

4) Prep

• Rice: Throw in salt to taste and a half of teaspoon of oil


• Lentils: To taste: Salt, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder for easy version.  Add all other spices mentioned above for a party in your mouth. About two bay leaves. HOLD THE DILL WEED. Go Crazy on the Curry.  The others, about one tablespoon.


• Black beans: To taste - Salt, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder.  Lots of onion and garlic.

5) Light it on fire!

• Rice: about 30 minutes, depending on how many cups you made


• Lentils: Bring to boil, and then down to a strong simmer for 45 mins.


• Black beans: Bring to a boil or when the pressure majigger is toppling about, and bring to medium heat for 30-45 mins.  (This varies on the cooker you have, check instructions)

6) Sit down and catch up on a book or watch The Simpsons if that's the only decent thing to watch on antenna.

Please listen to the music while you're holding.

7) Serve!

Rice in bowl, dump on plenty of dill weed. Pour the lentils on top. Add one tablespoon of plain greek yogurt (Mom would used sour cream), or drizzle Feta Cheese (I use Athenos which is not real feta, be that know to ye). Scramble and enjoy all the protein you need to get you by.  A spicy/cool dish. Voila! Mangia! Eat it!



8 ) Oh yea, the black beans are for tomorrow. Eat it with leftover brown rice and butternut squash,(another throw in the oven and leave gem) , scrambled eggs and an avocado, tortilla wraps and quick and easy ground organic turkey that doesn't taste as dead as processed dead turkey; make sure cheese is involved if you're not a vegan or have the butt bursts.

You can take half of that amount and put in the Magic Bullet or Blender, then some oil in a pan and heat them up to a boil.  You got refried beans that are muy rico.

Lentils and Coconut Rice

Here is the recipe without the beans included, and a very special feature to change it up (still easy), Coconut Rice! Also, is the version if you have enough chopping energy for full flavor.  Nummy, Nummy!

A) LENTILS

1) 1 cup of Lentils

2) Onion powder or 1/2 and onion (no need to dice)

3) Garlic powder or 2 garlic cloves (no need to dice)

4) Salt to taste

The rest of the spices and ingredients are optional, but awesome all together. Add your own if you like:

SPICES (All to taste)

5) Curry - Heap it on

6) Bay leaves - 2 or 3 leaves

7) Cumin

8 ) Dill Weed (dry)

TOPPINGS (either or)

9) Feta Cheese

10) Greek Plain Low or Nonfat Yogurt

Rinse lentils.  Follow the water:lentil ratio on the bag. Bring to a boil.  Simmer for 45 minutes.  That's it.

B) COCONUT RICE

2 cups jasmine rice

1 can unsweetened coconut milk

1 cup water

salt to taste

I make the rice with a rice cooker and go according to the usual directions.  It takes about 20 minutes.  If you don’t have a rice cooker, go buy one! I use mine about 3 times a week.

C) PREPARATION

Serve desired amount of rice.  Sprinkle the rice with a ton of dill weed. Pour desired amount of lentils over it.  Add a heaping tablespoon of either feta cheese of Greek yogurt.  Mix and ready to serve. All protein and carb requirements are made.

Set up the lentils first for time-length purposes, then the rice and sit back.

There it is ladies and gentlemen...an easy Monday recipe that would make felon Martha Stewart and psycho Rachel Ray say Mmm..now thats good, and Yumm-o!  No chopping required, about 8 minutes or less of prep time, and foods that'll help the week get started and leave plenty of leftovers.

I know I said I'm gonna stop promising things, but there a tortilla tutorial coming in the near future.  I just won't promise when.  We eat too much bread. I... can't eat bread that doesn't taste like paste.  So it's time to change it up.  White Boys go crazy for these.

National Peanut Butter Lover's Day- PB & CO Release

I promised the nice people at PB&CO to share this Press Release and event with you.  Don't we wish we lived in New York right about now.  I'd take the day off:













For Immediate Release

Contact: David Kirschenbaum (212) 757-3130 ext. 112

David.kirschenbaum@ilovepeanutbutter.com



Art Museum Dedicated to Peanut Butter Sandwiches Opens in NYC

Peanut Butter &Co. and National Peanut Board present The Nutropolitan Museum of Art
(New York, NY) – Peanut Butter & Co. – experts in the art of the peanut butter sandwich – once again brings the classic snack to new heights by launching The Nutropolitan Museum of Art, a pop-up art gallery completely devoted to America’s favorite sandwich, the PB&J!

Working with acclaimed food photographer Theresa Raffetto and noted food stylist Patty White, Peanut Butter & Co. Founder and President Lee Zalben aka “The Peanut Butter Guy,” created 365 exciting new takes on the PB&J.  The images will be featured on the Company’s Tumblr blog www.Nutropolitan.com.  A selection of the photos will be exhibited at The Nutropolitan’s pop-up gallery at Openhouse Gallery, 201 Mulberry Street, who is also a sponsor of the event.  Prints of the photos will be available for purchase with 100% of the proceeds being donated to the Food Bank For New York City.

The exhibit will be open to the public for three days only: Friday, March 4, 2011 (10am-6pm), Saturday, March 5, 2011 (10am-6pm), and Sunday, March 6, 2011 (10am-4pm). Each family that attends will receive a free jar of Peanut Butter & Co. peanut butter and a second jar will be donated to the Food Bank For New York City in their honor. “Just by visiting the gallery, you’re making a donation.”

The pop-up gallery is being presented in partnership with National Peanut Board (NPB), whose new Energy for the Good Life subway ad campaign kicks off in March.  A selection of the striking and informative ads will be on display throughout the gallery. NPB’s annual ad campaign blankets the subways of New York City every March with tongue and cheek facts about peanuts, which delight New Yorkers each year.  This year the campaign has evolved to focus more on the health and nutrition benefits of peanuts and peanut butter, some of which may be surprising to consumers.  Peanuts have more energy-boosting protein than any other nut, more antioxidants than broccoli carrots or green tea, and are a nutrient-rich Superfood, with 30 vitamins and nutrients.

On Thursday, March 3, members of the media are invited to preview the exhibition and taste a selection of peanutty hors d’oeuvres and cocktails prepared by some of New York’s top chefs

On Friday, March 4, the exhibit opens to the public.  Invited guests from the health & fitness communities will attend seminars hosted by registered dietitian Deanna Segrave-Daly RD, LDN.

On Saturday, March 5 and Sunday, March 6, visitors will be able to make their own art in the PB&J art studio for kids and peanut enthusiasts will be able to meet some of the hard working farmers that grow America’s favorite nut.  On Saturday, from 11am to 4pm Van Leuwen Ice Cream truck will operate from in front of the gallery and on Sunday from 11am to 4pm the Treats Truck will do the same.  Both trucks will offer specials on their peanut buttery treats!

About Peanut Butter & Co.

Peanut Butter & Co.’s ten varieties of all-natural peanut butter – Smooth Operator, Crunch Time, Cinnamon Raisin Swirl, White Chocolate Wonderful, Dark Chocolate Dreams, The Heat Is On, Mighty Maple, The Bee’s Knees, Old Fashioned Smooth and Old Fashioned Crunchy – are made from a special blend of USA-grown peanuts chosen for their taste, texture and natural sweetness.  Peanut Butter & Co. peanut butter contains no cholesterol, no trans-fats, no partially hydrogenated oils, and no high fructose corn syrup.  They are also dairy-free and gluten-free.



Peanut Butter & Co.’s line of all-natural, gourmet peanut butter is available in over 10,000 supermarkets and specialty retailers including Whole Foods, Kroger, Target, and Walmart.  The Company’s products are also available in Canada, the United Kingdom, and Asia.  Peanut Butter & Co. began in 1998 as a cozy little Sandwich Shop in New York City serving nothing peanut butter sandwiches, desserts, and smoothies, among other peanut buttery treats, and was the inspiration for The Peanut Butter & Co. Cookbook (Quirk Books), now in its third printing.  For recipes, store locations and more visit ilovepeanutbutter.com



About the National Peanut Board

The National Peanut Board represents all USA peanut farming families. Through research and marketing initiatives the Board is finding new ways to enhance peanut farming and sustainability and increase consumer demand by promoting the great taste, nutrition and culinary versatility of USA-grown peanuts. For more information, visit nationalpeanutboard.org



About the Food Bank For New York City

Food Bank For New York City recognizes 28 years as the city’s major hunger-relief organization working to end food poverty throughout the five boroughs.  As the city’s hub for integrated food poverty assistance, the Food Bank tackles the hunger issue on three fronts — food distribution, income support and nutrition education — all strategically guided by its research. Through its network of approximately 1,000 community-based member programs citywide, the Food Bank helps provide 400,000 free meals a day for New Yorkers in need. The Food Bank’s hands-on nutrition education program in the public schools reaches thousands of children, teens and adults. Income support services including food stamps, free tax assistance for the working poor and the Earned Income Tax Credit put millions of dollars back in the pockets of low-income New Yorkers, helping them to achieve greater dignity and independence. Learn how you can help at foodbanknyc.org.



About Openhouse Gallery

Openhouse is an all-white, 4,500 square-foot retail gallery with an exceptional retail storefront, drive-in access, 16’ ceilings and five massive skylights. Located on Mulberry Street in the heart of trendsetting NoLita, Openhouse is the choice downtown location for cocktail parties, art exhibitions, car showrooms, product launches, editor preview events, film/print/commercial shoots, fashion shows, sample sales, and pop-up retail concepts.  Since its inception in September 2007, Openhouse has hosted such clientele as Clinique, Converse, Diesel, Delta airlines, and Piaget Watches, among others.  Openhouse provides in-house event production, branding, marketing, advertising, pr and print/design services, and has curated events like '201 Mulberry' - Quiksilver's skate ramp pop up, 'PlayBeautiful' - the 2010 World Cup Experience, and 'Park Here' - an indoor pop up park.

www.ilovepeanutbutter.com