"Sticklers Unite!", said the Panda

As the earth spins and people go about their daily life, history is being written,  love and war is being documented, the citizens of the world are becoming ambivalent to dying punctuation and grammar.  Most of them unaware.  But not I.  I have a nagging sense - a perception that emanates from the universe to those hyper aware - of structure falling out of place.  When I write a letter, an email, a post, I feel out where apostrophes belong because I don't know the actual rules. I'm not sure if the period goes inside or outside of the quotation; inside or outside of exclamation points.  I'm pretty sure that I abuse of semi-colons, put hyphens to shame, and dishonor commas.  I vaguely haze through the elementary mnemonic tricks embedded long ago in our memory that taught us how to construct proper sentences. To this day,  I don't know what a conjunction is or where the junction proposes to be. Determining a possessive, which should be cake, makes my spine want to disconnect from the brain.  For a self-proclaimed writer, syntax should be my cup of tea. (As you get to know me, you will see that I wrote the last two sentences just  to incorporate cake and tea into the matter.)

I believe in language and literature.  For all the rebellious tendencies I have to defy the norm,  I'm still an advocate of proper grammar, punctuation, and writing in all its forms; a lazy advocate at that.  Now that I find myself typing reports at work trying to make sense of atrocious run-ons and freaking out when I have to rearrange a sentence, and more recently attempting to make it effortless for readers to capture the essence of my thoughts, I break into an invisible sweat admitting I know not what I do and hope that the sticklers forgive me when I violate the building blocks of expression.

Here is a small example that will practically force you to appreciate how important it is to give mind to punctuation:

A woman, without her man, is nothing.

A woman; without her, man is nothing.

Case closed.

Eats, Shoots & Leaves is a wonderful British token to help all the lost ones find their position in regards to the dying discipline crying out for adherence to the most basic foundations of communication.  She even works for a company designed solely to protect the integrity of the apostrophe in the coming generation of texting and fried brains, where full-stops (the word for period in Britain) do not exist, much less the respect for spelling.

For those who have a nagging sense to risk losing their friends by correcting someone's ghastly use of 'your' versus 'you're', or cringe at their personal disappointment of not remembering what a clause is, this books is for you. It's a hilarious read at the least (gotta love those BritBrits), if you don't give a flying monkey about easy-to-read paragraphs.  Communication skills are plummeting fast in a world where its kitsch to bend the rules to your liking.  I strongly believe in the human right to self-expression, so it's about time I re-educate myself and enforce the laws that my disgruntled English teachers didn't bother to instill in us, leaving us lost, shattered, and with a strange void that needs filling.  If you're going to write, do it right!
*I swear I didn't intend on making that pun.  My geeks status rises without even trying.*

I've known about this book for a long time.  I checked it out from the library years ago. The fear of responsibility that comes with knowledge threatened me to put it down before the first chapter was over, despite its hilarity and wit.  Today, I'm taking it on.  I will do write (right, more puns made of cheese) by prose, essays, letters, texts, and even post-it notes. Read up if you're writing is atrocious. Yes, even if you're just a chronic TXTR:

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="500" caption="If the language doesn't attract you, let the illustrated Panda be your inspiration."][/caption]

*P.S. This post does not even begin to scratch the surface of how I feel about my Alzheimers-like attack on spelling, spell check, and the misuse of words' definitions (shudders).  Kudos if you catch any downtrodden mistakes of language. Save them before I do.



* P.P.S. The blog, Cake Wrecks, on the blogroll to the right, is a direct result of the tragedy that happens when you don't mind the English language. A depressing waste of cake. Must see to believe.

Gentrifying the Dining Table

When we first got married, our house was empty. We didn't have a place to eat or sit on. We did everything on out carpet. And I mean everything. *wink* *sorry*

However, I was carrying on a full-time job. So was he, and he travels at really odd hours. We were exhausted and barely able to find 5 relaxing minutes together where we could talk about anything other than settling in our apartment. Also, my health was already mysteriously deteriorating, but I was pushing through it, pumping iron at the gym. This, of course, would dwindle with time. Making meals for two, and one extremely picky eater was new to me. Basically, there was no time to stop and think of fixing up our place to make it a home, not just sleep quarters and a messing area.

As I adapted, haphazardly and by trial and error rather than careful planning, the instinctual nature of any newlywed was kicking in. What's next after tying the ball and chain? Fix your place up. Make it your own. We're still working on it, piece by piece. Exhaustion and health bills keep us from the more focused approach to furnishing. These are some of the battles of chronic fatigue, swollen joints and limbs, inflammation headaches.

About 6 months in, my mother sensed  -like moms do- that I was having a hard time keeping up. She bought me a simple bouquet of fresh, blooming, bright yellow daisies. I previously believed this flower was too simplistic. However, it brightened up my house like I hadn't imagined and I apologized to my new fabulous table center for being so short-sighted.  When I was single, I was the unromantic type who said flowers are overrated. So soon after being bound by law to man, my sexy husband picked up my newfound value for the lifting effect of nature's little gifts (without my telling him, brownie points!) . The man who said he wasn't the type to buy flowers was buying roses to a woman who said claimed they were cheesy.

Now, I long for my table to decorated with something alive. I'm much more plant minded.  This week I was buying veggies and fruits at our local produce shop across the street and saw they had a quaint purple gem I'd never seen before for $1.99! Hells yea.

Further now, it's been a really rough week health-wise.  As a matter of fact, I was buying celery, parsley, and cucumber for an alkalanizing smoothie (I think I Sarah Palin'd that word and I'm not apologizing for it).  I barely had the energy to chop and blend my concoction. My hands were and still are kind of rubbery with swelling. My feets feel like boats. Piles of mail mixed with Husband's projects seemed to be climbing higher on our table. The couch was collecting a Home Edition line of living accessories for my own planted butt. Ah, but this cute chrysanthemum could charm any home accumulating clutter.

See below the progression of inspiration from something humble sprung from the earth:

Progression No. 1

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="THE USUAL BAD WEEK SCENARIO"][/caption]

Progression No. 2

 

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="WILD LIFE OXYGENATING THE ROOM, BECOMING MORE MOBILE"][/caption]

 

Progression No. 3

 

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="439" caption="FULL ON INSPIRED, ORGANIZATION ACHIEVED"][/caption]

 

I lie. It was not just pure beauty that led to my pro-activity. By No. 3 my Percocet had kicked in. Which I do not encourage even for Lupsters! I'm taking it temporarily for all the recent damage my frail organs went through and simply because otherwise I'll lose my day job.  I'm not unaware of the dangers, not to mention potential addiction if usage is extended too long. Just setting up a disclaimer right now. However, I wrote a little song called "I love you Perky-cet".

Moving right along, building up my home is a slow process in my condition.  Keeping neat and organized is hit or miss. When my husband is in town, he helps with the maintenance. Otherwise, it quickly amounts to a chaos that I'm learning to not be apologetic about anymore.  It's not easy going to sleep knowing the dishes is working on hardening grit or wondering if I passed out before I closed all dangerous cat nooks.  But everyone once in a sucky day, something awesome and wonderful completely distracts me from pain (No, Perky-cet is not awesome and wonderful) and I can power through achy knees and make my apartment a neat, symmetrical dream home.

*P.S. Sorry about the picture quality.  I'll be upgrading to stealing Husband's camera soon.

 

Micturating and Celery Juice

When I began the great journal endeavor, I didn't think it would so soon be talking about micturating (click and learn).  Of course, I often forget and assumed that life is kind if you throw good karma around. I must have killed a kitten in another life to deserve this.

Ok, we've talked about what Lupus is. An autoimmune disease that causes your own immune system to attack healthy tissue and/or organs.  Could be joint pain from joint tissue, rashes from skin tissue; and if more severe, vital organs.  I've been overconfident that "I got this", almost to the point of denial, because I've chosen to treat my body with natural "alternative" medicine*.  It can help suppress many symptoms.

*Note: It's funny -hilarious- that society calls healing products from the rich earth,  with no chemical alteration, alternative. Western medicine, man's science experiment, has become the convention. Conventional medicine is often the culprit of chronic diseases.

My diagnosis was in December. Despite my freakish optimism that I can will myself to health, sadly, the disease has progressed and attacked my bladder. Despite not foreseeing this, can it get any more embarrassing?

It started when I expected married life to be a turn for the healthier.  As women know, a blushing bride transitioning into an "active" woman can shock the body, for better or worse.  I had bit of both, but a lot of pain.  Already having a weakened immune system from "reliable" pharmaceutical meds, I couldn't fight foreign specimen. Not even the fun ones. It was bacterial galore in my nice-parts. Urinary Tract Infections.  I will not prattle on about the agonizing adventure that followed, but I will have you note that nothing, I mean NOTHING, would make it go away. Not antibiotics, not cranberry pills, not soaking in hot, then freezing, then scalding, then bubbles.  To this day, I'm not sure how I got periods of relief in between. I was advised to get a cystoscopy.  I was shrugged off and told this happens to all newlyweds.  I was led to some wild and unimaginable remedies that would lead you to judge me if you haven't already.  So, I waited it out.

Fast forward to the present, one year later, a UTI lands me in the ER.  Crazy theories fly about, i.e. kidney stones, gallbladder, cancer, dementia. A mere $200-plus, antibiotics, Demerol, Percocet, and 2 weeks later, I'm still sitting on a pillow at work.  The antibiotics didn't work, much to the surprise of the doctors who scoffed at me when I said, "Antibiotics don't work on me".  The infection was running rampant. I come to tell all you UTI sufferers I found a remedy that works better than any prescription a doctor can get kickbacks off of.  Take it from a girl who has done everything and spent shoe-money on peeing.

Bless this following website (also found on my blogroll to your right).

http://www.nutritionarticlesonline.com/bladder_bacterial_infection.html

Just send a friend or family member who doesn't have to do the pipi dance every 15 minutes to the nearest Health Food store and have them pick up these easy-to-find teas.  Here is the remedy:

Herbal Bladder Flush Remedy

Fill a 2 quart stainless steel or glass pot with clean water. Bring the following herbs to a boil, then immediately simmer on low for 20-30 minutes;

• 2 bags or 2 tsp Uva ursea (or corn silk)


• 2 bags or 2 tsp Dandelion root (or Dandelion root powder, not roasted)


• 1 bag or 1 tsp Golden Seal Root


• 2 bags or 2 tsp Horsetail Herb


• Optional; 1 bag or 1 tsp Stinging Nettles

Drink one cup of this Bladder Flush Tea every hour, two cups an hour if you're close to a bathroom. This is a diuretic (makes you pee) as well as a powerful antibiotic (Golden Seal). Note, Golden Seal is also a powerful liver detoxifier, you may experience a head ache from this concoction if your liver is in need of cleansing. This will pass, drink extra water.

Worked like a charm. It was such a relief when the floodgates opened. Read up a bit more on extra supplements that help.

HOWEVER!!! For this particular anecdote, the account does not end here. It might begin here.

My pain continued, this time in a more puzzling and concerning manner. A few days later, I went to the general physician to pee in a cup and see if the infection was gone. It seemed as if it was flushed down the toilet, but -without detail- all kinds of pelvic pain and frequent urges persisted.  I also did one of a female favorites, pap smear, to rule out hidden cancer. Yes, I'm paranoid. I don't want to die.

The doctor freaked out with me for having severe pain when she softly pressed down on that area.  She took out her cell phone, sat down, and raised hell with disgruntled Urologists' receptionists until I had an immediate appointment. Do not go back to work.  Do not collect $200.  Spend more than you earn.   Go straight to a specialist.  Cutting to the point, the kind doctor that was able to make me feel comfortable in a very uncomfortable position suspects Interstitial Cystitis.  And guess what?

He said it has a higher prevalence in people with rheumatoid diseases. *The extra spacing is indicative of a dramatic pause.*

They want to raid my bladder with a perverted mircro-camera and see what the damage is so I may learn to deal with yet another chronic malignancy that is all thanks to the wolf disease.  I'm a bit shattered by the reality of this and the significance of what it is to live with more limitations.

No pity party here! They will try to medicate me to rebuild the lining of the delicate organ.  You know, one of those medicines with small print side effect warnings as long as the Bible.  I return to this wonderful site I just mentioned above, and restate another portion below:

Healing Interstitial Cystitis Naturally

http://www.nutritionarticlesonline.com/bladder_interstitial_cystitisIC.html

This brings me to the celery concoction from yesterday. After I miserably cheated with an acidic, dairy Oreo McFlurry (which I have preached no one on earth needs to have one), due to the emotional drama of my new ailment causing me to cave, damage control was in the works or havoc would ensue.  It also works like a charm :

Easy Alkalinizing Celery Juice:

• One Cucumber

• 4 Celery stalks

• 3 sprigs of parsley

• A few cubes of watermelon (my idea!)

I don't remember which website I found this is on, so my apologies. The recipe calls for a juicer, but I don't have one, so I use a blender. It's more chunky! This is hard to swallow if you're not used to veggie overload. On top of that, personally, I must always tread carefully around anything sugar, so I dare not put even Agave syrup until my healing factor is better, but you can definitely add honey, or Turbinado. Whatever. I chose to add watermelon for sweetener, adding little by little as to not overdo it and end up with more problems.

To sum up, I share with you:

- The fastest, safest, natural UTI cure I have ever found.

-  An alkalizing tip if you're feeling too acidic.

- And a story of a piece of my travesty with you and how I deal.  Hope this can be of help to someone some day.

Stay tuned, I'm sure there will be fascinating updates after this.