Micturating and Celery Juice

When I began the great journal endeavor, I didn't think it would so soon be talking about micturating (click and learn).  Of course, I often forget and assumed that life is kind if you throw good karma around. I must have killed a kitten in another life to deserve this.

Ok, we've talked about what Lupus is. An autoimmune disease that causes your own immune system to attack healthy tissue and/or organs.  Could be joint pain from joint tissue, rashes from skin tissue; and if more severe, vital organs.  I've been overconfident that "I got this", almost to the point of denial, because I've chosen to treat my body with natural "alternative" medicine*.  It can help suppress many symptoms.

*Note: It's funny -hilarious- that society calls healing products from the rich earth,  with no chemical alteration, alternative. Western medicine, man's science experiment, has become the convention. Conventional medicine is often the culprit of chronic diseases.

My diagnosis was in December. Despite my freakish optimism that I can will myself to health, sadly, the disease has progressed and attacked my bladder. Despite not foreseeing this, can it get any more embarrassing?

It started when I expected married life to be a turn for the healthier.  As women know, a blushing bride transitioning into an "active" woman can shock the body, for better or worse.  I had bit of both, but a lot of pain.  Already having a weakened immune system from "reliable" pharmaceutical meds, I couldn't fight foreign specimen. Not even the fun ones. It was bacterial galore in my nice-parts. Urinary Tract Infections.  I will not prattle on about the agonizing adventure that followed, but I will have you note that nothing, I mean NOTHING, would make it go away. Not antibiotics, not cranberry pills, not soaking in hot, then freezing, then scalding, then bubbles.  To this day, I'm not sure how I got periods of relief in between. I was advised to get a cystoscopy.  I was shrugged off and told this happens to all newlyweds.  I was led to some wild and unimaginable remedies that would lead you to judge me if you haven't already.  So, I waited it out.

Fast forward to the present, one year later, a UTI lands me in the ER.  Crazy theories fly about, i.e. kidney stones, gallbladder, cancer, dementia. A mere $200-plus, antibiotics, Demerol, Percocet, and 2 weeks later, I'm still sitting on a pillow at work.  The antibiotics didn't work, much to the surprise of the doctors who scoffed at me when I said, "Antibiotics don't work on me".  The infection was running rampant. I come to tell all you UTI sufferers I found a remedy that works better than any prescription a doctor can get kickbacks off of.  Take it from a girl who has done everything and spent shoe-money on peeing.

Bless this following website (also found on my blogroll to your right).

http://www.nutritionarticlesonline.com/bladder_bacterial_infection.html

Just send a friend or family member who doesn't have to do the pipi dance every 15 minutes to the nearest Health Food store and have them pick up these easy-to-find teas.  Here is the remedy:

Herbal Bladder Flush Remedy

Fill a 2 quart stainless steel or glass pot with clean water. Bring the following herbs to a boil, then immediately simmer on low for 20-30 minutes;

• 2 bags or 2 tsp Uva ursea (or corn silk)


• 2 bags or 2 tsp Dandelion root (or Dandelion root powder, not roasted)


• 1 bag or 1 tsp Golden Seal Root


• 2 bags or 2 tsp Horsetail Herb


• Optional; 1 bag or 1 tsp Stinging Nettles

Drink one cup of this Bladder Flush Tea every hour, two cups an hour if you're close to a bathroom. This is a diuretic (makes you pee) as well as a powerful antibiotic (Golden Seal). Note, Golden Seal is also a powerful liver detoxifier, you may experience a head ache from this concoction if your liver is in need of cleansing. This will pass, drink extra water.

Worked like a charm. It was such a relief when the floodgates opened. Read up a bit more on extra supplements that help.

HOWEVER!!! For this particular anecdote, the account does not end here. It might begin here.

My pain continued, this time in a more puzzling and concerning manner. A few days later, I went to the general physician to pee in a cup and see if the infection was gone. It seemed as if it was flushed down the toilet, but -without detail- all kinds of pelvic pain and frequent urges persisted.  I also did one of a female favorites, pap smear, to rule out hidden cancer. Yes, I'm paranoid. I don't want to die.

The doctor freaked out with me for having severe pain when she softly pressed down on that area.  She took out her cell phone, sat down, and raised hell with disgruntled Urologists' receptionists until I had an immediate appointment. Do not go back to work.  Do not collect $200.  Spend more than you earn.   Go straight to a specialist.  Cutting to the point, the kind doctor that was able to make me feel comfortable in a very uncomfortable position suspects Interstitial Cystitis.  And guess what?

He said it has a higher prevalence in people with rheumatoid diseases. *The extra spacing is indicative of a dramatic pause.*

They want to raid my bladder with a perverted mircro-camera and see what the damage is so I may learn to deal with yet another chronic malignancy that is all thanks to the wolf disease.  I'm a bit shattered by the reality of this and the significance of what it is to live with more limitations.

No pity party here! They will try to medicate me to rebuild the lining of the delicate organ.  You know, one of those medicines with small print side effect warnings as long as the Bible.  I return to this wonderful site I just mentioned above, and restate another portion below:

Healing Interstitial Cystitis Naturally

http://www.nutritionarticlesonline.com/bladder_interstitial_cystitisIC.html

This brings me to the celery concoction from yesterday. After I miserably cheated with an acidic, dairy Oreo McFlurry (which I have preached no one on earth needs to have one), due to the emotional drama of my new ailment causing me to cave, damage control was in the works or havoc would ensue.  It also works like a charm :

Easy Alkalinizing Celery Juice:

• One Cucumber

• 4 Celery stalks

• 3 sprigs of parsley

• A few cubes of watermelon (my idea!)

I don't remember which website I found this is on, so my apologies. The recipe calls for a juicer, but I don't have one, so I use a blender. It's more chunky! This is hard to swallow if you're not used to veggie overload. On top of that, personally, I must always tread carefully around anything sugar, so I dare not put even Agave syrup until my healing factor is better, but you can definitely add honey, or Turbinado. Whatever. I chose to add watermelon for sweetener, adding little by little as to not overdo it and end up with more problems.

To sum up, I share with you:

- The fastest, safest, natural UTI cure I have ever found.

-  An alkalizing tip if you're feeling too acidic.

- And a story of a piece of my travesty with you and how I deal.  Hope this can be of help to someone some day.

Stay tuned, I'm sure there will be fascinating updates after this.

Because You're Worth It

You don’t deserve to be ill, unless you’re a mass murderer who did have loving parents and a cuddly puppy growing up. But you also don’t deserve to be mess.  Yes, it suck.  It’s frustrating.  It’s hard.  It makes you violent.  It makes you sounds like a manic-depressive cartoon donkey. But… it’s not the end of the world. Unless you’re terminal. And in that case I will shut up before I head into political incorrectness that comes with the awkwardness of not knowing what to say.

Having conditions that wreak havoc on our bodies, hair, skin, and personalities don’t mean defeat.  Food allergies or systematic deficiencies have obvious effects on our appearance and it will get anyone down. But by Jove, you are still a woman and you gotta fight for that right. In this case, I refer mainly to looks. I’m not THAT vain. I’ll talk about being beautiful on the inside another day (Don't wait up).

It means you just have to hyper focus on the work it takes to upkeep what matters to your girly side. Find what’s making you bummed out and work on it whether its personal, external, spiritual, social, etc. But don’t forget its okay to take care of yourself. You’re going to have to spend more time and effort in some departments. It’s commendable to treat yourself to some vanities if your body is attacking them, especially since you understand your situation the best.

For instances:

• Stay pretty. If your skin is prone to dryness or acne, stop buying crap makeup and invest in some Bare Minerals. Nothing there should worsen it. Enhance what you got. No need to for a drag queen process, just pick your best feature and enhance, especially on a sucky day.

• Too tired to take care of basic aesthetic maintenance? Not an excuse. If you’re couch-bound with pain: paint your toenails, pluck your eyebrows, keep your hair brushed, or simply write a to-do list of what you would like to do when you feel better.

• For Crabby Face Syndrome (CFS), keep sexy tunes blasting in the background. Don’t be too tired to make your Dance Dance Dance Playlist.  Stop listening to Everybody Hurts by REM. Let yourself smile. It won't magically change your woes, but it will magically make it more tolerable.

• It doesn’t matter if you’re home alone, with your patient husband who doesn’t care if your pajamas are holey, or out on the town. Dress decent. Wear something cute or sexy. You don’t have to be all made up, but find the one thing that makes you feel pretty and keep it up with the bit of life force you have left. People still have to look at you.

• Stuck plopped in front of the tv with severe joint pain or fatigue? Get down even lower.  Stretch your hams, your hips, your arms. Learn some sit-down yoga moves. You’ll have less pain and keep those wonderful muscles of yours happy. Be as mobile as you can when you’re limited so your blood keeps flowing.

• If those brownies, cookies, and cake are whispering your name, and you’re sick and tired or being sick and tired, and just don’t care anymore… don’t give in! I’m talking to you food allergy and fatigue partners-in-crime. We will cave here and then, but if you fall, make sure when you’re back up that you learn some indulgent recipes that won’t punch you in the stomach. Make a substitute list and post it on your fridge or keep in a  lil notebook.

Example:

Original Craving: Venti Cinnamon Dolce Latte with Whip Extra Hot and Old Fashion Doughnut

Less Damaging Replacement: Grande Chai Tea Latte with Soy (ask for the tea bag, bypass the syrup) and the shortbread cookies in shape of a cat and owl.

• When you have to bail on a girls night out because you feel like bird droppings, make them come to you. Host movie night.  Everyone brings a treat. You give the cash for someone to pick up the goodies and the DVD. Or, save the money you would’ve spent partying for an outfit when you’re healthy again. Start planning the next marvelous adventure. Organize an album from the times you have gone out and make them send you pictures of the first one who passes out that night.

• If you have to wear sweatpants to be comfortable, buy sexy sweatpants. Not ones that make you look like you’re a toddler with fuzzy balls and SpongeBob Square Pants attacking the fleece (unless that’s part of your core personality in which that’s okay I suppose). But if you’re having trouble feeling sexy, buy sexy things and incorporate them into your lounging repertoire. (This one I was very guilty of in our newlywed marriage. I had brought over some rainbow pants that felt delicious, but a loser in the turn-on-your-husband category).

• Regarding comfortable shoes: I still have not figured this one out yet. I can no longer wear heels for more than a few minutes.  I resent ballet slippers and flip-flops, no matter how bejeweled. I want to throw them at the walls. Once I put on my pink snakeskin stilettos for 15 minutes and cat-walked in front of my cats just to remember what its like.  So if you know or have a coping mechanism for switching from hot shoes to practical kicks, please contact me!

• The roughest one of all: if your hair falls out easily…do anything it takes to stop and possibly reverse the process. Go broke trying out gentler shampoos. Buy treatments for hair. Get on Rogaine if you have to. I did one time until I found something that works better for me. Thank you Kiss My Face and Purology. Use organic and/or natural shampoos that won't be harsh on your sensitive scalp follicles. Research, buy shiny pomades, get a wig, take vitamins, get a scalp biopsy. Be proactive about the really tough stuff that don‘t have easy solutions.  It's your womanhood and don't let anything tell you it's all in your head! If it's on the bathroom floor, it's not on your head.

There are days when you are just too exhausted or in pain to imagine putting an outfit together and slipping into skinny jeans. You know your body would not forgive you.  Listen to your temple and be nice to it. It may mean you need to pull back on everything altogether and stop for some serious rest. If you can’t hold up your shoulders hoisting a hair blow dryer, sling back a cute ponytail and stay in.  Don’t stop taking care of yourself. If pre-illness days you were on fire, keep the internal glow on days that require toning down.  We must radiate still. Life goes on. People will appreciate the pride you take in yourself and how you carry yourself through rough times. It inspiring to yourself and others. Looking good on the outside is not the most important thing, but its sure easier to be confident and brighter when you know you worked for it.

Never be too bummed out to care what you look like either. Our presence is determined by mirror images of our inner and outer person; they reflect each other. I relate all these tips because I went through a phase when my hair was always flat, legs unshaven, bags under my eyes, etc. Of course, I didn’t want to look like this, but I was so pissed at how much I had to strain to achieve movement, I spent the energy being mad, rather than throwing on some lip gloss.  If you’re going through an emotional vs. physical rut, go out and get something sparkly. If you’re not the type, maybe its time to start. And if you’re too tired to shop for something that makes you feel beautiful, order online!

Work it ladies.

MasterCard

*Rheumatologist tests and diagnosis visit:                          $100

*Wasted visit to the ER for wrong treatment:                      $200

*Natural protocol for autoimmune system:                       $400 and counting

*Stepping on a weight scale that finally reads 108:    PRICELESS